You Can Do IT!

Once there lived a sweet little girl named Natalia. Natalia belonged to simple family of 5 with doting parents and a loving brother and sister. They all lived in the city of Moscow, Russia. 

Natalia was a petite 9 year old girl with brown eyes, cute round nose and always sported a short hairstyle in her auburn hair. The harsh winters used to make her nose and cheeks more pink than she ever liked. She was a talkative, bright and energetic child full of enthusiasm for everything that came across. The words "I Cannot" didn't exist in her dictionary at all. She was not only a good student at school but also enjoyed her sports thoroughly. Everything was going smooth in her life and she was her chirpy self. But life had other plans for her!

One day when she came back from school, her parents were making travel plans for London, England - UK. Her father had got a great job opportunity and they were going to move from Moscow. Going to a new country sounded exciting as she would be able to see new places, visit museums, go shopping in wonderful malls. However, the place she called home was soon to be a thing of past and she wasn't sure how to take it. Nevertheless, she went with the planning, helped her parents pack and arrange everything and very soon they were on the flight to London. All her fears as well as joys kept dancing in front of her eyes as the plane landed on the Heathrow Airport runway. 

The family quickly settled in their new apartment.  They had just finished setting up the study table when they realized they didn't get any school books. Natalia's mom gently coaxed her saying it was ok if she didn't have any school books. Any how she would be going to a new school where she would be getting everything new. The thought of shiny n neatly covered new books got her excited to go to her school the next day. 

Natalia's father took her to the new school. They took a short tour of the school with the Unit Head of Natalia's section. They were unable to check out classes as she was joining mid-year. When Natalia was crossing the lobby with the unit head and her father she noticed that every body was speaking very quickly and in a language she didn't quite understand. Now English language was not an alien language for her. Even though, the commonly used language in Moscow was Russian, she had attended a class or 2 of English too. However, the children around her sounded as if talking in something other than English. It made her wonder how would she ever understand anything there??!!! 

When they reached her class, the teacher Ms. Jones kindly welcomed her and introduced her to the class. "Oh! Thank God ..Ms. Jones is talking in English!"

Natalia thought. During the school day she realized all the kids were using English language itself but they had a very different way of speaking than her friends and teachers back in Moscow. At that time she didn't know it was just the accent. She somehow finished the school day and went back home with her Mom who had come to pick her up. When at the dinner table they all talked about their days - Natalia seemed the least bit excited to share. She had liked her school and also her teacher Ms. Jones. However, making friends or having lunch with anyone was a different story. Her excitement of coming to London was slowly fading.

Natalia was a brave and determined child. In spite of the fact, that she was having difficulty in communicating in the spoken language she didn't throw any tantrums of not going to school or make any excuses of not finishing assignments.  She tried her best and was ready for feedback from her teachers. She slowly tried to make progress, but found it very difficult to focus on any subject properly as all the textbooks, notes, slideshows and even verbal communication was done in a language she didn't use much back in Moscow. Life was becoming difficult for her. She tried hard but was not able to get good grades in her classes. Her basket ball games also weren't going good as she wasn't able to follow what her team mates quickly shouted while playing the game. When at home she used to try watching some TV to take her mind off the hard stuff, she could access many programs but all in the same language and same accent. 

One day, she was so annoyed she threw her books, the remote control as well as her iPad on the bed and started crying. She missed home. She missed her old school... old friends and the comfort of the language she understood very clearly. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to feel this way. She didn't want any of this. Her mum saw her crying in her room alone. She came in her room and started talking to her. Natalia was so frustrated with everything she kept on complaining about how hard her life had become after they moved. The biggest complaint was unable to grasp the local language. She was so tired of getting into the bottom scores she had started giving up. 

After listening & consoling Natalia for a long time, her mum gave her a tight hug and told her something that stayed with Natalia for a very long time. She said "It is very easy to give up, especially on new things. However, keeping up the struggle makes us stronger and also ready to face more challenging situations in our life! So Never Give UP!. I know You Can DO IT!" Natalia understood it but somehow wasn't convinced. After much reluctance she went to sleep as she had to go to school the next day. 

Next day her mum came to drop her to school. She spoke briefly to the class teacher and helped her understand the issues Natalia was facing. Ms. Jones was not just understanding but felt awful that they didn't understand her problem sooner. She promised she will help Natalia. However, all this didn't convince Natalia at all. She kept on avoiding conversations, answering questions even if she knew the answer, and participating in activities. She stopped doing her HW. She started avoiding everything and everybody. Only thing that came out of her mouth was "I hate this!!! I am not good at this. I cannot do it."

But her parents and teachers were tough. They wouldn't let her give up on herself. The more Natalia told herself, "It is hard" the more assignments and practice worksheets she got. They all kept telling her "Giving Up is not an option!" Her parents even started helping her with studies. It used to take hours for her to answer simple Science questions because she tried to translate everything from her native language to English. But everyone made sure, she finished. She attempted. She learnt from her mistakes. She revised and practiced. 

Over time, she realized her teachers are asking her to solve more n more English worksheets as compared to other kids. She sometimes also got similar worksheets as her siblings. It took time for her to solve them, and get to a level where all answers were correct....but ultimately she did. In a few weeks' time, she was not only able to answer written worksheets but also answer the same questions verbally and more confidently. Yes it was very hard at first to speak with correct pronunciation. But 4 words that kept ringing in her ears were "You Can Do IT!" 

From the negative sentences - 

"I hate English." 

"I hate studies."

"I hate HW."

"I hate practice." 

Natalia turned her tables around to the sentences - 

"I can read/speak/write English." 

"I like studies." 

"HW helps me understand my concepts." 

"Practice helps me remember concepts." 

At the end of the term, Natalia's class had to give a presentation. At first, she tried taking her name off the presentation. But Ms. Jones wouldn't listen to it. She made her participate and her hard work began multi-fold. She along with her class mates worked really hard on the presentation. After all, it was Term End and all parents would be attending the same. They had to produce good quality work. With lot of hesitation and coaxing Natalia prepared for her part of the speech. She practiced day and night not just her lines but also the possible questions and answers that could come up after the presentation. On the final day, her palms were sweaty and knees shaking because of the nervousness. But her parents stood strong as her support. Their eyes told her from a distance, "You Can Do IT!" She let go off all her fears and dived right into the presentation with her classmates. She not only spoke her lines confidently but also tried to answer questions like a native English speaker. She spoke so well, she couldn't believe her own ears. And then the audience reacted. They rose from their seats and applauded the class presentation with thunderous clapping. It was huge. A huge achievement for the class, Ms. Jones and above all for Natalia!

For the girl, who couldn't speak proper English and form sentences to communicate to her teacher, this was a BIG achievement. She not only did it but also excelled in it. She went home jubilant with her parents. On the way back, when her father played a Russian song in the car - all she could think of was how will it be written, spoken and sung in English. The day she accepted the language, the language embraced her with open arms. 

Are Grades Enough?

Today I am going to tell a story of a bright young girl who went to study at a university far far away from her own home and country.

This girl - Mansi was a very intelligent girl. She had beautiful long hair which was pretty much always tied up in a neat braid swinging on her back. Science and Math were her as much her favorite subjects as much as Art and Music. Table Tennis was her favorite sport. She used to get excellent grades all through her school. There was no teacher who was unhappy with her, when she was in school. When her mom used to go to PTMs, her teacher talked only about all the nice things Mansi would do in school. And rarely, the few things that needed work on. But her parents, teachers, friends and herself were so blinded by her achievements in sports, academics as well as extra-curricular activities they hardly paid attention to the fact that her surroundings were always chaotic... always unorganized, untidy and messy. 

Everyday when Mansi would leave for school, her mommy and the house helper used to pickup stuff from the floor, table and bed just so that her room looks little organized. At night when she was done doing her HW, her TT bag, towel and school bag used to be on the floor waiting to be picked up. Mansi's dad would sort all of that when he used to come to say Good Night to her. However, reminding her to pick up after herself was out of question!! Everyone understood the fact that she was such a hard worker in school and otherwise, she hardly got the time to clean up so they all did it for her. So days went by and she kept on doing the best in school, getting perfect report cards and trophies..

When Mansi was growing up her only mission was to get into Harvard University. She had learnt from her aunts n uncles about how great the university was and how tough was to get admission. Being one of the best universities worldwide, it was not just difficult but also very prestigious to get admission in Harvard. There was absolutely no stopping for Mansi. She had doubled her studying hours, worked extremely hard on her skills and achieved 3 fold to get herself a deemed seat in the Business School of Harvard University.

Her efforts were all paid off, when she finally heard from the school and they granted her the admission in the first round itself. Her whole family was overjoyed and everyone started to prepare for her departure at once. 

Mansi researched for the best dorm room near the campus and got approved to stay with 2 other girls from different regions. Finally, the day of her departure came and she flew to Boston from Mumbai airport having a twinkle in her eye dreaming about her wonderful future being a star student in yet another program. 

She reached her dorm in Boston which was located very near to her college. It was a clear day with lots of students walking, chatting and rolling away their suitcases to their respective rooms. Some were accompanied by friends and others were with their parents. However, Mansi was confident she could do all of that all by herself...after all - all she had to do was throw up her suitcases in a corner and keep living from them till she settles with her classes and gets familiar with her surroundings properly!!

When Mansi reached her assigned room, she was welcomed by a Japanese student named Yuna- her first roommate. She was a petite girl with big eyes and short hair. Her things were well coordinated with the bedding she was putting on her assigned bed. Her study table was already neatly arranged with an iPad, DIY stationery stand, folder and a photo frame that reminded her of family. Mansi instantly shook hands with Yuna and made herself at home by flinging her things on her designated bed. They had just begun talking when another Indian roommate joined them to take possession of her part of the room. With bold color clothing and long hair colored with purple streaks, Jaswinder introduced herself as Jazz. Jazz was like Yuna's twin from another mother. As soon as she saw Yuna's neatly stacked suitcases and bedding covers - she knew she had found a BFF. Mansi on the other hand was oblivious to all this and continued to unpack her belongings scattering them everywhere as she was habituated from childhood. 


As the academic year unfolded, the 3 girls started having a tough as well as good time with the assignments, classes and activities respectively. It wasn't easy to come and live thousands of miles away from family. They missed home cooked meals and family members to hug each night. However, they found solace in each other's company and started bonding like best buddies. Jazz and Yuna started to get along better than Mansi did with either of them. Not because she was any less funny or less affectionate. But Jazz and Yuna were so used to seeing organized spaces from their childhood, they continued to keep their parts of the room in the same fashion. They also got a lot of time not only to research for the next projects but also were able to help each other with some. On the other hand, Mansi struggled to find stuff on time, her clothes were always full of creases, chargers or books never in place and towel and socks used to stink the whole room. No matter how much Mansi tried she was always left behind in schedule in not only her academic program but was unable to participate in the fun events too. 

One day when she reached her classroom she fumbled and fell down. Her research paper that she worked extremely hard on was scattered in the whole classroom as she never got time to neatly organize it in the folder. It was a sad sight. She wanted to go hide herself somewhere that day.    

Days went by and gradually her grades started deteriorating. Not because she wasn't able to understand what her professors were explaining, but so much of her time went into basics of organizing notes and other things, she was not able to focus on her assignments and papers. Due to her low grades, she had to drop out of the sports program too! She missed playing TT when her peers used to have matches after long days in college. 


All this was having a bad effect on her and she started loosing her confidence. She longed to get back her school days when her clothes were neatly ironed, hair was nicely fixed in a beautiful braid and room in immaculate condition every time she got back home. But how was that possible? Her parents and the hired help had been doing all those things for her back then. She didn't even know how to neatly fold her clothes or keep them in a pile! She always thought it was a time consuming boring thing that need not be learned. Several nights she found herself sitting in her bed and crying as she used to forget her phone charger in class and there was no way she could call and talk to her parents as her phone battery used to be dead for the day. 


On days like those she used to ask herself - 

"Why is it so difficult for me to finish chores like my friends?"

"Am I dumb that I am unable to keep up my score like I used to in my home country? "

"Why does multitasking come so effortlessly for Yuna and Jazz? "

"Why can I not keep my things in their right places?"

"Is there something wrong with me that my roommates don't want to share their stuff with me?"

And 1 day while she lay down in her bed not wanting to attend any classes - it occurred to her. She was not a loser or dumb or stupid. All she lacked was Self Discipline, Proper Organization and Focus. 


Now how is it possible that a brilliant student can lack focus?

Actually the fact was that she never gave herself the chance to focus on multiple things at a time. Either she was playing a sport or studying for the next exam or doing some fun activity with friends and family. She never did multiple things together like Yuna and Jazz. While trying to solve the next Algebra problem, Jazz subconsciously folded her clothes neatly and piled them in her tiny cupboard. When they both were chatting about the day, Yuna could effortlessly organize her bag pack that she needed to carry to class as well as desk so it is absolutely clean when she came back tired from her college. This way neither had to give any special attention or time to the most basic tasks of their day and they were done efficiently. Whereas for Mansi it was like a herculean task to re-arrange her desk or find a non-crumpled top from her disheveled cupboard. Why? Because she was not used to doing all that while growing up. She was so busy achieving things outside the home, she forgot that learning begins from Home. Her parents were equally at fault. Instead of teaching her the importance of clearing the clutter around her, they did the dirty work for her and thus she never learnt how to pick up after herself or clear the mess around her. That day she wowed to herself that she will try and imitate the good habits from Yuna and Jazz, take their help if required but soon she will bring herself up to the mark. When she shared her problem and possible solution with her roommates, they hugged her and told her to start from the same day and that they would help as much possible. 

Very soon, she turned the tables around. Not only she learnt how to keep her things, belongings, furniture clean and organized but very soon the effects of the same started showing in her thought process and ability to solve problems in school. When she kept her surroundings clutter-free, she was able to keep her mind also clutter-free. She  was able to think and work more freely, quickly and efficiently. She developed self-discipline. Her academics improved and so did her sports and fun activities. Now she didn't have to spend her entire weekend getting ready for the next week, but she could spend having fun with her fellow classmates and indulge in new hobbies like paragliding and trekking. The professors also saw a remarkable change in her approach. Not only that - they could also notice her grades rising gradually. Her peers cheered her as she beat the 2 year TT champion in the tournament because she was able to keep her mind on the game. 

When she called her parents to share the news of the trophy, she told them all about the transition she had experienced in the last couple of months. They were not only happy of her achievements but also sad. They wished if only they had been a little more strict with her during her formative years, she wouldn't have to experience this kind of difficult first months in college so far away from home. Nevertheless, they were extremely proud of Mansi, for having been able to fight the lethargy and the messy attitude on her own. They were proud that she once again was the rising star who could excel in her life as she had learnt a very important key to success. 

        

Mansi, holds that key very close to her heart. The most important lessons that she learnt during this transition were -

- making a mess is easy to do, it's fun and also a part of life, but the Disorder can bring Confusion and Anxiety.

- its not just cleaning up and putting stuff away - it is also about Creating Order out of the Disorder

- these skills are used to ease the confusion and frustrations in life 

- with these skills we learn attention to detail, multitasking, self discipline and focus

- having a knack at studying, sports and arts is great, but you can rise way higher with just simple steps of clean-up and organization!

                 

I would like to know, when you grow up - 

do you want to become like Mansi and learn these lessons when you are facing problems and troubles?

 or 

you want to be like Jazz and Yuna and practice these lessons while in school and let them help you in becoming a better person?

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